Thursday, May 12, 2005

The **BIG** News

Warning: This is a very long post.

Today has been an emotionally and physically exhausting day, and this email will go into detail as to why. Have a tissue handy.

For the first two days, we instantly and strongly bonded with Valeryi (Dub). We knew it from the start, and it was unmistakable. Unfortunately, it was not so with Ahat (Jack). We tried to play, talk, hold, and otherwise bond with Ahat, but it was a struggle, and he did not respond to Angel or myself during the 2 days that we interacted with him. We were warned that he was a fussy child, but he screamed incessantly and shook his head back and forth when we would try to interact with him. Angel and I spent most of Wednesday night crying and praying and asking God why the boy He chose for us was not bonding with us. We called Vera and asked her to come over earlier than usual on Thursday morning so we could discuss it.

Before we spoke with Vera, we prayed for God to guide our hearts, our words, and Vera's knowledge, and to lead us to what He ultimately wants for us, and for the children.

This morning, it was obvious that God had already prepared Vera's heart and shown her much the same things that we were experiencing. There were more tears this morning, but Vera is so wonderful at her job. She explained to us all of our options, but ultimately helped us come to the decision that we would not continue the bonding with Ahat. I think that may have been the hardest decision we have ever made as a married couple.

One of the original reasons that we chose to adopt 2 children was so that they could have a familiar playmate from the orphanage to ease the transition into our lives. So, we told Vera that we still wanted to seek another child to adopt from Umit. She said she would ask the Director if there were any more children available from Valeryi's class (age group), and she would also inquire at other local orphanages.

So, with heavy hearts, we went to continue the bonding with Dub, who once again was just as lovey and fun as he can be. About half way through our 90 minute time this morning, Medet came outside to find us (we do laps around the orphanage with Dub) to tell us that the Director needed to speak with us immediately. She wanted us to tell her in person, officially, that we no longer would continue bonding with Ahat. That was the extent of our statement, but she and Vera continued talking in Russian the entire time. Then, out of nowhere, Medet appears with a little girl named Kalamkaz. Kalamkaz is the little girl who was 'mistakenly available' just before we arrived. As it turns out, she was promised to another agency, not another family. The director called that agency and asked if they had a family ready for her. They did not, so she has made Kalamkaz available to us to adopt.

We only had about 20 minutes with Kalamkaz this morning, but, as with Dub, the attachment was very clear from the very start. Vera said when she took her away for lunch, she got halfway up the stairs and stopped still and refused to walk. Then she started crying. I don't know if it was us she missed already or the gummy bears Angel had just given her. (we assumed the latter) Then, when she arrived at her group, she announced, "My mommy has arrived!" Insert tears here.

So now Madeline and Jessica are not the only princesses anymore! Kalamkaz looks a little like a boy right now, (When Medet brought her in, Kevin said who is this little boy? Vera said "Actually she's a girl.") but we'll get her in a girly girl dress and let her hair grow (they keep hair short at Umit for sanitary reasons) and she'll be precious! We think her name will be Miriam Helena Sandlin, or "Lena". So now we are back to Lena and Dub!

We spent 2 hours with Dub and Kalamkaz (hereafter referred to as "Lena") this afternoon. Lena called Angel "Mama", and after a while - when Angel finally let her come over and play with me - she called me "Papa". Lena is 3, and will turn 4 in August, so she's just a few months older than Dub. She is extremely smart, and ticklish, and just loves to pick up all her toys! Perhaps she'll teach Mama a thing or two about picking up all her toys. We signed the papers this afternoon.

Dub & Lena, welcome to our family. Thank you God for answering our prayers specifically and perfectly and so far beyond anything we could imagine. Angel really would have loved a girl, but when told we'd have 2 boys, she was very pleased. Who could have known that The God of Wonders would give her the desire of her heart and teach us a few things along the way? Please pray that God would bring Ahat's adoptive parents to Umit very soon, and that they would know, as we did with Dub & Lena, that Ahat is their child.

Blessings,
Kevin & Angel

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

A tissue? How about a BOX of tissues! God Bless you both for being such wonderful people and for allowing us to share in each of the miracles that God has given to your family! It is so exciting to see God’s work so clearly in your lives! Allison

Anonymous said...

That says it all, I just told Mark that you guys are getting me everyday. God is so good when we see how he paves the way. I am so excited about your girl. We are praying for you many times a day. God has blessed you in ways that you do not even know yet. Zana

Anonymous said...

Angel and Kevin,
I know your heart must have been breaking as you had to make that difficult decision. Hopefully God has other plans for that little boy. And God had plans for Lena that even you were not clued into until just recently. He works in mysterious ways.

God Bless you!
Gail Daras

Anonymous said...

Angel and Kevin-
Please tell the children we love them! Guess that won't mean much to them right now... but they have cousins in Boston that are dying to give them a hug and a smattering of kisses. We love you ALL very much- and can't wait to see you. You, the kids, and Ahat are very much in our thoughts and prayers.
All our love- Eliot and Jessie

Anonymous said...

Hi to Kevinator and his guardian Angel...I have just started reading the news...and am so emotional about what you guys are going thru. Kevin...take it from STM...a girl and a boy is JUST RIGHT!! I am so glad to have you guys put life in it's proper perspective....and to think...I was worried about bogeying the last hole for an 82 yesterday!!!all the best, STM